Diversity… My perspective on this I have SPOKEN about many times, but never put it into writing. But I’ve had a few situations in recent months that have sparked me to blog about this. What struck me about the situations is the ANGER & DENIAL that was expressed when I suggested how they could be MORE diverse. Which is sooooo weird to me, if that is TRULY you “goal”. It came off that the “goal” wasn’t for THEM to be diverse at all, it was for ME to “conform”. Or at least LIE to them about their perceived diversity.
Let me be clear… If you have friends of DIFFERENT races & cultures, yet ONLY are around them when they are in YOUR environment & comfort zone, that doesn’t make YOU diverse. That makes THEM diverse!
Too often people CONVINCE themselves that having friends of different races & cultures makes them diverse. Which I think essentially is what caused the “anger”. It’s really only ONE step. I’ve noticed that some (not all) of my White friends always have a convenient “excuse” as to why they can’t come to an event with me that ISN’T majority White. ESPECIALLY if it’s majority BLACK. I’ve heard all types of “legitimate” reasons:
I have to help my son with his school project…
My girl has been tripping about me not spending enough time with her…
I just remembered I have to get the dog’s tail clipped that day…
And the list goes on and one. Seriously, how many times do you think the “dog is going to eat your homework” before I call bulls#t? Sometimes they simply just won’t answer the phone when it’s time to go to the event. Now let me confirm, cause I know what some (not all) of you White people are thinking. You’re thinking “They probably didn’t go because it was an unsafe environment”.
::NEWSFLASH:: Not all Black people ONLY go to “hood” spots!
But what’s sad is that there are people (Black included) who think there are NO Black spots that aren’t “hood”. Which only confirms their LACK of diversity. There are plenty of spots with college educated Black people with careers.
With all of my “situations” I’ve had, instead of simply saying “Yea, I probably could be a little more diverse in where I go”, they would LIE and claim to go to majority Black spots ALL the time. Or they will say “What’s a Black spot?”. My reply is always “You know, the places you AVOID going to”. A lot of the times they’ll say “What does it matter? People are people”. In which I reply “It DOESN’T matter. Which is why I’m HERE. But it OBVIOUSLY matters to YOU, because you don’t venture out of you comfort zone”.
I once had a Puerto Rican friend who invited a couple of us mutual friends to her wedding reception. So the 3 of us went to this wedding. EVERYONE there was Puerto Rican except my one friend (White guy) and me (Black & beautiful guy *wink*). The other friend who came with us was ALSO Puerto Rican, plus was DATING the White guy. He started acting restless the second we got there. After about 10 minutes leaned over to me and said “I’m ready to get outta here Bro. This doesn’t make you uncomfortable?”. I honestly had NO IDEA what he was talking about. Probably because I’m ROUTINELY out of my comfort zone being a racial minority. So I was basically clueless. Then he pointed out the OBVIOUS, that EVERYONE was Puerto Rican except him & I. Never mind that fact the people in attendance treated us like FAMILY. They went OUT OF THEIR way to make us feel at home, BRINGING us drinks and some of the most amazing food. I literally NEVER had to make my own plate! During this time it dawned on me that my White friend had no problem DATING a Puerto Rican girl. But when it came to being in HER environment & comfort zone, he had ZERO interest. Whether he realized it or not, it gave the impression that he really doesn’t CARE about anyone ELSE’S culture or interest besides his OWN. And for some people this is ABSOLUTELY the case, whether they want to admit it or not. But if you’re NOT of this way of thinking, try opening your mind a little and stepping into someone ELSE environment. Only THEN can you TRULY be diverse. Get familiar…
Sometimes I even invite people just to be amused by the intricate excuses I KNOW I’m going to hear. It’s ridiculous… In closing, I’ll have people who would consider me to be a CLOSE friend. But ask yourself, how close do you think “I” consider someone who ISN’T willing to ever come to MY environment?
